The Folly of Nothing
by Safiyyah
Summary: Random events starring LxLight. Ch 2: L round-kicked Matsuda with all the force he owned. “MATSUDA YOU IDIOT!” He screamed out as Matsuda went crashing into the dancers, who stopped to look at the scene. L was boiling red in the face. Rated M?.Yaoi.Cursin
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE.

So, I was listening to "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa in the shower (TMI?) and this is just an idea that popped up in my strange mind. I pictured it and "loled."

This really doesn't have a plot.

R&R.

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Light, with a towel bound tightly around his waist, walked into a luxurious washroom. His neck snapped to the ceiling which was miles high. His eyes panned the room, which was big enough to house the occupants of a third world country.

"Damn..." He said aloud in awe.

It was the headquarters' washroom--you know, the one on the 20th floor where no one _ever_ went. L wasn't here, he actually stepped out for once, so Light figured he would take a nice and long shower.

The room was modern-styled. He didn't understand the purpose of L's creation of this room, and its enormity, but all he knew is that he would enjoy showering here. He headed over to his mp3 dock, which was attached to radically large speakers. He turned it on and put it on shuffle. Then, he was ready and he dropped his towel.

The shower was large as well, with a long curtain covering it. He pulled back the curtain, which must have been 8 feet long, and stepped inside. He grabbed the nozzle and blasted steaming hot water onto his body. The music started. Light moved his head to the beat and tapped his foot.

_"I've had alittle bit too much (much). All the people start to rush, start to rush by."_ He started to do some foot motions, getting into the song.

_"A dizzy twister dance. Can't find my drink or man...Where are my keys? I lost my phone."_ He moved his shoulders and maneuvered the nozzle to his back and played with the extension of the nozzle by tangling his leg with it.

_"What's goin' on, on the floor? I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore." _He sang the words quietly and kept the water on his hair. "K_eep it cool What's the name of this club? I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright."_

_"JUST DANCE_!" When the chorus came he began to sing really loudly and slid on the water from side to side and did several turns gracefully. He shook his right hip to the beat and spoke into the nozzle as if it were a microphone, bending closer and farther away from his mouth.

At this point, L was approaching the shower door and opening it slowly. He was also covering his ears because the music was almost too loud for him. He saw a moving silhouette behind the curtain. If his deductions were right, it had to be Light.

"_Wish I could shut my playboy mouth." _Light put a hand over mouth, put one hand on his hip and cocked his neck from side to side.

_"How'd I turn my shirt inside out (inside out right). Control your poison babe. Roses have thorns they say, And we're all getting' hosed tonight!"_ He dropped his body down, bending his knees and raising his hand in the air and doing a body roll on his way up.

_"What's goin' on, on the floor? I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore."_ He turned to the wall of the shower and ran his hands down his effeminate-like curves, kicking his feet slightly into the air.

_"Keep it cool What's the name of this club? I can't remember but its alright, a-alright."_ He prepared himself for the chorus.

_"JUST DANCE!"_ He swung his hips violently from side to side, along with his head. He flailed his arms and just went all out, yelling the lyrics to the song in a horrid singing voice.

L slowly pulled the curtains aside. He saw Light, probably at his worst moments of his routine, when he was flailing his arms and body around the shower and facing the wall. L's face contorted into one of delightful and extreme amusement.

He smacked a hand to his mouth and began to laugh uncontrollably underneath it.

It sounded something like "Ppppffahaahahaahahahahaha."

Light continued to dance and L wished he had some kind of recording device to savor this once-in-a-lifetime moment. He was still laughing underneath his hand and widening his eyes with the progression of Light's moves. He didn't know the boy could move like that...in such... provocative ways.

Finally, Lighto felt the frigid air and jerked himself around. He froze and looked at L's face. L's face was all out of proportion; his mouth was in a perpetual smile and eyes were wider than ever. L was even more satisfied with Light's recognition of him because of his position. Light froze with his legs clasping the nozzle tightly and his hands placed on his arse. He must have had a desire to grind...the nozzle? L slowly rose his index finger and pointed and Light and shook his head. The music continued playing until L went to shut off the mp3 player. He then met Light's gaze.

"Light-kun sure has some good moves." L snorted and bit his lip. Light acknowledged the words and shut off the water placidly, turning toward L. He breathed in heavily and locked his eyes onto L's.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" He pounced onto L and pinned him down to the floor. "YOU DON'T WALK IN ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT!"

"I heard very loud music and wanted to see where it was coming from." L said, staring up at Light's angry face.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO INTRUDE ON MY SHOWER!" Light yelled and spat in L's face.

"But it was so very entertaining. Maybe your career should be as an exotic dancer instead of a detective?" L smiled, feeding the fire.

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR SNIDE COMMENTS." He pushed down L's arms more.

"Hey, I'd pay an exorbitant amount of money to see _that _again." L spoke sarcastically.

And this is where the nude and infuriated Light punched our dear old L square in the face.

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Rofl, I think that would be hilarious/hot to witness and I would probably react just as L did.

More random story things with LxLight in the chapters to come?


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: Sexual content.

Light drags L to a house party.

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"So, are you going to come?!" Misa squealed into the phone.

Light winced at the sound. "Uh, yeah probably. I have nothing better to do today."

"Ohhh Bring L! It will be fun! Oh! The DJ just arrived, I have to go. Bye bye, kiss kiss." She hung up.

Light turned to L, who was reading some papers scribbled with notes. Light smiled evilly at the man's back.

"Hey L. You got plans tonight?"

L turned around, looked up, and quickly concocted an excuse. "Well, of course. As you can see I am a very busy man with the many, _many_ cases that are unsolved at the present time…"

Light rolled his eyes. "Puh-lease. You have barely been doing any work the past few days." He said sternly, "You _are_ coming with me to Misa's house. She's having a huge house party. You need to get out of this…prison...and have a good time."

He down-casted his eyes. "I will do no such thing."

Light raised his eyebrows and walked out of the room

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_A few hours later…._

Light entered and was dressed in a black shirt that adhered to his skin and corduroy pants that fit him snugly.

L looked up, a chocolate donut hanging out of his mouth. "Why, if Light was fwearing anything tightuur we fwould see his shkin…"

"Ookay. I'm going to be nice enough to lend you my clothes. Get up, stop eating like a fat ass and try them on." He hovered over L and held up the black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, with an artistic picture on its front, near L's face.

L laughed. "I'm not wearing this monstrosity."He pushed it away.

Light narrowed his eyes. "I knew you'd object so I prepared myself." His eyes turned a reddish hue, and he slowly lifted a pair scissors from his back pocket.

"Snip, snip, L." He paused. "Snip…snip."

"Wha--" L was cut off when Light lunged at him, drooling rabidly and laughing maniacally. He cut off L's white shirt and jeans off. He struggled changing L because of the several kicks he received in the face. Eventually, Light succeeded, with a bruised face. Both men were breathing heavily and sweating when they finished.

Light stood there and smiled joyfully. "Mmm, work of art. Let's go now." He dragged L with him outside without another word.

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_At the doorstep of Misa's mansion…_

There was music pounding heavily from the inside, along with a slew of people laughing and talking loudly.

_Ding Dong_

"These clothes are drenched in cologne…the hell do you do in these Light?" L eyed Light furiously and blurted out, "Why are you making me do this? I don't even want to be here. I look like a moron, and am way too old to be involved with such trifling matt--"

The door flung open and silenced him.

"Hello! Light!" Misa lunged at him in an embrace. "Yay, you brought him! I hope he doesn't become too tainted by all he sees tonight." She winked at L and led them inside. L put a thumb to his lip as he observed the hall.

It was dark. The main hall was filled with people either grinding or whatever else was humanly possible to do on the dance floor. There were two mile-long bar on the opposite sides of the hall, and people were drunkenly laughing near them.

There were flashing lights and the music was louder than one could imagine. L didn't like the loud music at all. Maybe he could just leave, no one would know. Well, maybe he'd sit for a bit because he was feeling a little drowsy....

Misa must have dragged Light off somewhere into the darkness and he was all alone. He went to go sit down by the stairs which were far away from the music and sex-driven teens.

The stairs were home to a bunch of horny teenager girls and boys who were making out and probably copulating. Even though it was dark, L saw more nudity then he had ever seen in his life. His eyes widened as he watched their actions, but it was interesting so he couldn't stop watching.

When he heard an angry voice say "Hey pervert, you want to join us or what?" he took the initiative to leave as fast as possible. He took a seat on a bar stool and put his head down on the table, and stayed there.

A young girl with short, black hair, adorned in a risqué uniform approached him.

"Hey, you okay there?" She leaned down. L popped up and was facing her large breasts which were almost about to bust out; they were aligned with his eyes. He held his groin tightly in effort to halt the blood flow. He wiped his salivating mouth.

"Uh, sorry…yes I am fine."

She looked concerned. "Here, I'll make you a drink." She hastily threw together a tequila shot. "Enjoy."

"I don't really drink but I guess I could have a bit..."

As he was pouring the liquid into his mouth, he heard a girlish-scream.

"OH MY GOD! IT CAN'T BE!" The figure stopped in the middle, holding his hands in the air in defeat. "IT'S MY BOSS EVERYONE!" Matsuda came tumbling over to L.

"Ryuuzaki! Wh-at are youdoing here" He hiccupped. His head hit L's shoulder but he quickly uprighted himself.

"Matsuda, why are _you_ here?" L put the drink down, and looked at Matsuda in disgust. "You look so wasted..."

"Misa Misa invite Matsuda! HAH! I shouldbeasking you THAT!!!!! Wait I did ask that already..." Matsuda pointed at L, and laughed. "You look_very_ nice S-sir Ryuuzaki…" His eyes became lustful. He then threw himself onto L and put his hand down L's pants and thrusted his mouth onto the mellow L. Matsuda's tongue was forced inside his mouth and his hand wandered in the darkness of L's skinny jeans. L's blood flowed faster and he tried his best to compose himself at the touch of his colleague's strong hand.

L round-kicked Matsuda with all the force he owned. "MATSUDA YOU IDIOT!!!!" He screamed out as Matsuda went crashing into the dancers, who stopped to look at the scene. L was boiling red in the face.

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Light was sweating and took a seat on the couch nearby the dance floor. Several people were smoking god knows what, and drinking their heart's desire. He took a sip of an Amstel. There was a pretty, young, woman sitting next to him with a stack of pillows on top of her. She was drinking water daintily.

Light looked her up and down. "Hey," he said huskily, "You are one sexy lady." He smiled.

"Thank you." She said, smiling back graciously.

"Want to head over to the stairs?" He put an arm around her slyly.

"Oh...okay!" She got up slowly and the pillows fell off her. Her large, round stomach was revealed through her tank top.

"Oh…OH!" Light yelled. He got up in disgust and pushed the air away. "OH FUCK NO. DON'T. WANT. You are pregnant, bitch! Are you _mad_?" He stomped away and left the poor girl to cry.

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"I should really leave. I am not meant for this scene…" L said aloud.

"Aw, don't be down. Try to have some fun while you are here." The bartender said.

L smiled a bit "Thank you…" he read the woman's tag which was conveniently placed on her left breast "Takada." He tingled down below.

"Come on, let's dance." She dragged him to the dance floor and started moving her body fluidly. He just stood there, slumped shoulders and all.

"Just feel the rhythm, man!" She yelled loudly, and moved closer to him.

The bodies around him were all moving, so he looked to his left and tried to copy the man who was dancing skillfully with his partner. L pulled Takada close to him and positioned himself behind her. He grabbed her hips and they moved back and forth in unison. She was quite surprised, but put her hand atop of his. L felt the tingling sensation once again as he grinded hard into her backside.

Light was angry. He snaked his way through the throng of people and stopped in his tracks. His mouth formed a perfect "O."

"Takada?!?!" Light screamed out to the dance floor.

Takada stopped moving. "Oh shit..." She pulled away from L. He ran over to the couple, who must have been struck with fear by looking at Light's face.

Light made a fist. "What are you doing, you piece of trash? Is..is that...YOU!??"

"It's not what it looks like!" Takada waved her arms in the air. "God Light, I was just dancing with him!"

"That was more like sex on the dance floor! I saw it with my own eyes! I can't believe you would betray me like that, Takada!" Light turned to L and grabbed his collar. "And...YOU! After all I did to bring you here, to give you a chance to socialize for once! GOD DAMNIT L!"

"I..I..didn't know you were dating this lovely woman?" was all L had to say. "I'm sorry?"

"SORRY? YOU ASSHOLE!! You don't care about anyone but yourself." Light clasped L's wrists. "I ought to teach you a lesson."

And this, my friends, is where Light dragged L to the stairs and taught him a lesson.

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AN:

Sadistic Light? Yeah.

Next chapter: Light and L go...somewhere interesting. Chaos ensues. (I'm so vague ;3)


End file.
